When speaking to a friend who has undergone cancer treatment, it's essential to be sensitive and considerate about their experiences and emotions. Here are some things you should avoid saying:
"I know how you feel": Even if you've had a similar experience or know someone who has gone through cancer treatment, each person's journey is unique. It's better to listen and be supportive without assuming you fully understand their feelings.
"You look so much better now": Avoid making comments about their appearance, as it might unintentionally imply that they looked bad during treatment. Instead, focus on expressing your happiness to see them and their strength throughout the process.
"At least it's over now": While the treatment may be over, the emotional and physical impact can linger. Minimizing their experience by implying that everything should be fine now might invalidate their feelings.
"Did you try [insert alternative treatment] instead?": Suggesting alternative treatments might come across as dismissive of the medical advice they received or imply that they didn't explore all options.
"Everything happens for a reason": Avoid making philosophical or religious statements that attempt to justify their cancer diagnosis or treatment. Such platitudes can be insensitive and not helpful in a challenging time.
"You must be relieved it's over": While it's natural to think that someone would be relieved after treatment, it might also bring a lot of anxiety about the future and the fear of a recurrence. Be compassionate and acknowledge their emotions.
"You're so brave; I couldn't handle it": While it might be meant as a compliment, it can unintentionally put pressure on the person to be strong all the time. They are just facing their challenges as best they can, like anyone would.
"I knew someone who had cancer, and they didn't make it": Avoid sharing stories of negative outcomes with other people, as it can be distressing and trigger unnecessary fear in your friend.
"You must be glad you lost weight during treatment": Commenting on weight changes can be sensitive for someone who has gone through cancer treatment. Focus on their well-being and overall health rather than weight-related matters.
"It's all in the past now; let's move on": Healing and emotional recovery can take time, and it's essential to let your friend process their feelings at their pace without rushing them to move on.
In general, it's best to be empathetic, listen actively, and offer your support without trying to fix or minimize their experience. Let them lead the conversation and express themselves in a way that feels comfortable for them. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do is be a caring and understanding presence for your friend.