In borderline personality disorder (BPD), individuals often experience intense and unstable relationships with others, which can include a pattern of idealizing and devaluing people in their lives. This pattern is sometimes referred to as "splitting," where individuals may view others as all good or all bad, without much middle ground.
When someone with BPD "discards" an old person, they may end a relationship abruptly or push someone away due to feelings of disappointment, anger, or fear of abandonment. Afterward, they might shift their attention to a new person and start idealizing them, seeing them as the perfect solution to their emotional needs.
This behavior isn't necessarily about "forcing" themselves to like the new person, but rather it is a manifestation of the borderline individual's emotional instability and difficulty in maintaining consistent and stable relationships. The new person might be perceived as an escape from the emotional distress caused by the previous relationship.
It is crucial to understand that people with BPD often struggle with managing their emotions and have difficulty with emotional regulation. Their perception of others can be highly influenced by their own emotional state at any given moment. This can lead to intense and rapidly changing feelings about people in their lives.
As with any mental health condition, each individual's experience is unique, and not everyone with BPD will behave in the same way. Additionally, seeking professional help and support, such as therapy or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be beneficial for individuals with BPD in managing their emotions, developing healthier relationship patterns, and enhancing overall well-being.