It's important to remember that I'm not here to judge anyone's actions or choices, but I can offer a perspective on why certain behaviors may lead to specific emotions.
Empowerment: Engaging in revenge may temporarily make you feel empowered, as if you've taken control of a situation or have "gotten back" at someone who hurt you. This sense of power can be appealing, especially if you felt powerless or vulnerable before.
Emotional release: If you experienced pain or betrayal in your relationship, cheating could have been a way to cope with those negative emotions and find temporary relief. It might have given you an outlet to channel your frustrations.
Validation: Seeking revenge may have provided a sense of validation, as it might have felt like a way to show your husband how much he hurt you. In some cases, people might resort to such actions to gain attention or provoke a reaction from their partner.
Rebuilding self-esteem: If your husband's actions caused damage to your self-esteem, cheating could have been an attempt to regain a sense of attractiveness and desirability.
However, while revenge may bring momentary satisfaction, it often leads to more complications and pain in the long run. It can escalate conflicts, damage trust further, and create a cycle of negative actions and reactions.
It's essential to address the underlying issues and emotions in your relationship and consider healthier ways to cope with challenges and conflicts. Communication, understanding, and possibly seeking professional support, such as couples therapy, can be more constructive in rebuilding trust and working through the difficulties in your marriage.