There could be several reasons why your husband reacts negatively or "blows up" when you want to make improvements to your 21-year-old house, despite having the financial means. It's important to remember that I don't have personal information about your specific situation, but I can suggest some possible reasons that may apply to general situations:
Fear of Change: Some people become attached to their homes and may fear that making changes will disrupt the familiarity and comfort they have grown accustomed to over the years. This fear of change can lead to resistance or negative reactions.
Financial Concerns: Even if you have the money for improvements, your husband might have concerns about spending money on renovations or upgrades. He might worry about unforeseen expenses, prioritizing other financial goals, or the overall cost of the improvements.
Personal Preferences: Different people have varying tastes and priorities when it comes to home improvements. Your husband might not share the same enthusiasm for the improvements you want to make, leading to a negative reaction.
Lack of Involvement: If your husband feels left out of the decision-making process or doesn't feel consulted about the improvements, he might react defensively or negatively.
Emotional Attachment: Your husband may have strong emotional attachments to the house and might see it as it is, not wanting any changes. Emotional connections to a home can be powerful.
Perceived Disruption: Renovations and improvements can be disruptive to daily life, especially for older individuals who might prefer stability and routine.
Communication Issues: There might be underlying communication issues or unresolved conflicts between you and your husband that are manifesting when discussing home improvements.
To address this situation effectively:
Open Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about why he reacts negatively to home improvements. Listen to his concerns and try to understand his perspective.
Compromise: Find common ground and seek to make improvements that both of you can agree on. Compromise may involve prioritizing specific projects or finding ways to address his concerns.
Involve Him: Include your husband in the decision-making process for home improvements. Discuss ideas together and consider his preferences and opinions.
Explain the Benefits: Communicate the potential benefits of the improvements, such as increased comfort, energy efficiency, or adding value to the home.
Professional Mediation: If communication becomes challenging, consider seeking the help of a professional mediator or counselor to facilitate constructive discussions.
Remember that relationships require understanding, empathy, and compromise. By addressing the underlying issues and finding solutions together, you can work towards making improvements to your home that you both feel comfortable and happy with.