I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. Dealing with infidelity and uncertainty about the future of your marriage can be extremely difficult. Here are some steps to consider:
Self-care: Focus on your emotional well-being. This is a difficult and emotionally draining situation, and it's essential to take care of yourself during this time. Reach out to friends or family for support, consider seeking counseling or therapy, and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace.
Set boundaries: While your husband is unable to make a decision, it's important to establish boundaries to protect yourself from further emotional harm. This may include setting limits on the amount of emotional investment you make in the relationship until he makes a choice.
Seek professional help: Consider individual counseling or therapy to help you process your emotions and thoughts about the situation. A therapist can offer guidance and support as you navigate through this challenging time.
Evaluate your needs: Take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. Assess whether you can see a future with your husband despite the affair and uncertainty. Consider your own values and whether they align with the actions and decisions your husband has made.
Communication and honesty: If you decide to continue discussions with your husband, be open and honest about your feelings and concerns. Encourage him to be honest about his feelings as well. Communication is crucial in understanding where each of you stands.
Timeframe for decision-making: While patience is essential in difficult situations, it's also important to set a reasonable timeframe for decision-making. Prolonged uncertainty can take a significant toll on your emotional well-being. Discuss with your husband a timeline within which you both can work towards reaching a decision.
Consider professional mediation: If you both find it challenging to have productive discussions on your own, consider seeking help from a professional mediator. A mediator can facilitate constructive conversations and assist you in finding common ground.
Consult an attorney: Given the complexities of your situation, it might be helpful to consult a family law attorney to understand your rights and options legally. Knowing where you stand legally can be important in making informed decisions.
Remember that every situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Take your time to assess the situation and prioritize your well-being. Ultimately, it's essential to make choices that align with your values and lead to a healthier and happier life for yourself, whether that involves staying in the marriage or pursuing a different path.