It's essential to approach this situation with sensitivity and open communication. After being married for over 40 years, it's possible that various factors could be influencing your partner's behavior. Here are some steps to consider:
Communicate openly: Find a suitable time and place to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Make sure you approach the topic with empathy and without placing blame.
Listen to her perspective: Allow your partner to express her feelings and concerns without interrupting or judging. It's possible that there are underlying reasons for her behavior that she may be hesitant to share.
Seek professional help: If the issue is causing significant distress in your relationship, consider seeing a couples therapist or a sex therapist together. A therapist can facilitate productive discussions and help address any underlying emotional or physical issues.
Show affection and love: While your partner may not want physical intimacy at the moment, it's essential to continue showing love and affection in non-sexual ways. Simple gestures like hugs, compliments, and spending quality time together can strengthen your emotional connection.
Understand physical and emotional changes: As people age, their bodies and hormones change, which can affect their desire for intimacy. Understanding and accepting these changes are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Address health concerns: If your partner often cites not feeling well as an excuse, encourage her to visit a doctor for a check-up. There could be underlying health issues contributing to her lack of desire.
Be patient and supportive: Avoid pressuring your partner or making her feel guilty about her feelings. Instead, be patient and supportive throughout the process of addressing the issue.
Consider individual fulfillment: While physical intimacy is an essential part of a relationship, it's not the only aspect that defines it. Focus on other aspects of your relationship that bring joy and fulfillment to both of you.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and there may be specific factors at play in your marriage. Professional guidance can be beneficial in navigating these challenges and finding a path forward that works for both of you.