I can offer some general insights into possible reasons why a parent might have a strong reaction when their child tells them about their desire to marry someone.
Protective instincts: Parents often have a deep sense of protection and concern for their children's well-being. They may be worried about whether their child's chosen partner will treat them well, support them emotionally and financially, and contribute positively to their life.
Differences in values or backgrounds: Sometimes, parents may have concerns about cultural, religious, or socioeconomic differences between their child and their partner, which can lead to apprehension or uncertainty.
Fear of losing their child: The idea of their child getting married and starting their own family can trigger feelings of loss and separation anxiety for some parents.
Previous negative experiences: If your father has had negative experiences with relationships or marriages in the past, he might be cautious or concerned about the potential challenges that can arise.
Lack of familiarity: If your father has not had much interaction with your boyfriend or doesn't know him well, he might feel uneasy about the unknown.
High expectations: Parents may have certain expectations for their child's life partner and worry that the partner may not meet those expectations.
Timing and readiness: If your father believes that you or your partner are not ready for marriage or that it's too early in the relationship, he may express concern.
Communication and miscommunication: Sometimes, reactions can be based on miscommunication or misunderstandings. Clear and open communication can help address concerns and misconceptions.
It's essential to have a calm and respectful conversation with your father about his reaction to better understand his perspective. Active listening and empathy are crucial during this discussion. You can also share your feelings, thoughts, and intentions about your relationship and marriage plans. It may take time for your father to process his feelings, so being patient and understanding is key.
Remember that every family dynamic is unique, and individual reactions can vary widely. Open dialogue and willingness to address concerns can be instrumental in resolving any issues or conflicts that arise from such situations.