When your husband of 17 years tells you that he still wants the marriage and loves you but is emotionally and sexually absent, it could indicate several things. It's important to remember that every situation is unique, and there could be various underlying reasons for his feelings and behavior. Here are some possible explanations:
Emotional and sexual disconnect: Over time, couples may experience a disconnect in their emotional and sexual intimacy. This can happen due to various factors such as stress, unresolved conflicts, changing priorities, or complacency in the relationship.
Personal issues: Your husband might be going through personal challenges or struggles that are affecting his ability to engage emotionally and sexually. These issues could be related to work, health, self-esteem, or past experiences.
Communication breakdown: Sometimes, communication problems can lead to emotional and sexual distance in a relationship. If he's finding it difficult to express his feelings or concerns, it can result in a lack of emotional connection.
Midlife crisis: Some individuals go through a midlife crisis as they approach middle age, which may lead them to question their life choices and priorities, including their marriage.
Loss of attraction or spark: Over time, attraction and passion in a long-term relationship can wane, and one or both partners may struggle to maintain the same level of interest.
Unresolved issues from the past: Past unresolved conflicts or traumas might be impacting his ability to fully engage in the relationship.
It's essential to have an open and honest conversation with your husband to better understand his feelings and concerns. Communication is key to addressing any issues in the relationship. Consider seeking couples therapy or counseling to explore the underlying reasons and work towards finding solutions together.
Additionally, if he is going through personal challenges, encourage him to seek individual therapy or support to work through those issues.
Remember, marriage is a partnership, and both partners need to be actively involved in understanding and addressing the challenges to improve the relationship.