Question

My wife has been texting 4 male coworkers before, during and after work hours. She has had numerous 90 minute phone conversations with them and thousands of texts for the last 2 years (which are all deleted). What should I do?

Answer 1

It's essential to remember that every relationship is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on your specific circumstances and feelings. Here are some steps you could consider:

1. Communication: The first step is to talk openly and honestly with your wife about your concerns. Choose a calm and non-accusatory setting to discuss your feelings and emotions. Express your worries about the extent and nature of her interactions with her male coworkers.

2. Active listening: When you talk, make sure you also listen to her perspective. Try to understand her reasons for maintaining such extensive communication with her coworkers. Be patient and empathetic during this conversation.

3. Set boundaries: Discuss what boundaries are acceptable to both of you regarding interactions with coworkers and the use of technology in your relationship. Mutual understanding and agreement on boundaries can help rebuild trust.

4. Seek professional help: If you find it challenging to have this conversation or if trust has been significantly eroded, consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist. A professional can provide a neutral environment for both of you to express your feelings and find solutions.

5. Reevaluate your relationship: Reflect on your relationship as a whole. Are there any other underlying issues contributing to the current situation? Addressing these concerns can help in resolving the problems in a healthier way.

6. Self-care: Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family or consider individual counseling to help process your emotions.

7. Rebuilding trust: Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. If you both decide to work on your relationship, it's crucial to be patient and committed to the process.

Remember, the advice provided here is general and may not apply to your specific situation. Consider consulting a professional counselor or therapist who can give personalized guidance based on your unique circumstances. Ultimately, the decision on what to do should be based on what you feel is best for your well-being and the future of your relationship.