Both perspectives have some valid points, but the answer depends on the specific dynamics of your relationship and the context of your husband's actions. Let's break down the two viewpoints:
Your Husband's Privacy: Your therapist's perspective aligns with the idea of respecting each other's privacy in a relationship. It's essential to maintain healthy boundaries and trust your partner. If your husband hasn't given you any reason to suspect cheating or dishonest behavior in the present, it might be important to give him the benefit of the doubt and respect his need for privacy. People are entitled to personal space, and not everything they do needs to be shared or known by their partner.
Past Trust Issues: On the other hand, if your husband has broken your trust in the past, it's natural to feel more sensitive to behaviors that trigger your insecurities. Rebuilding trust after it has been broken can be a challenging process. If there are unresolved issues from the past, they might be influencing your feelings and reactions to his phone usage. In such cases, it's essential to address these concerns and communicate openly with your husband about how his actions affect you emotionally.
Finding Middle Ground:
Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Talk to your husband about how you feel triggered and why you have trust issues based on the past. Share your concerns and emotions without accusing him of wrongdoing. Let him know that you want to work together to strengthen your trust in each other.
Rebuilding Trust: If trust has been broken in the past, rebuilding it takes time, effort, and consistent actions. Both partners need to be willing to work on rebuilding trust and addressing any underlying issues that contributed to the breach of trust.
Seek Support: Consider engaging in couples therapy or counseling. A professional can help you and your husband navigate these issues in a neutral and constructive environment.
Personal Growth: Work on personal growth and self-awareness. If you have unresolved issues or insecurities that are contributing to your triggers, addressing them through individual therapy can be beneficial.
In summary, both perspectives have some validity, but finding a middle ground that respects privacy while addressing past trust issues is essential. Healthy relationships are built on trust, open communication, and mutual understanding. It's crucial for both partners to work together to create a safe and supportive environment for each other's emotional needs.