Victorian England was known for its strict social codes and etiquette, and displays of affection were generally more reserved and modest compared to modern times. Public displays of affection, especially between unmarried couples, were heavily frowned upon and considered inappropriate. Here are some examples of what was considered appropriate in terms of displays of affection during the Victorian era:
Handholding: Holding hands in public was generally acceptable, especially for married couples. However, even this gesture was considered somewhat intimate and not commonly observed in public spaces.
Courting: Couples who were courting could exchange small tokens of affection, such as flowers or small gifts, as a way of expressing their feelings without being overly forward.
Chaperones: Unmarried couples were often expected to have a chaperone present when spending time together to maintain propriety and prevent any perceived impropriety.
Letters and Poetry: Written communication allowed for more personal expressions of affection. Writing letters and exchanging romantic poetry were common ways for couples to express their feelings privately.
Dance: Victorian society allowed for a certain level of physical contact during formal dances, such as waltzes. However, the movements were choreographed and guided by strict rules of conduct.
The Language of Fans: Victorian women sometimes used fans to communicate secret messages to their suitors. For example, holding the fan to the heart might signify love.
Gazing: Eye contact and admiring glances from afar were considered acceptable ways of showing affection.
Engagement: Upon formal engagement, couples might be allowed more freedom to express affection publicly, such as sharing a peck on the cheek or a brief hug.
It's important to note that the strictness of these rules varied based on factors like social class and individual personalities. Victorian society had a complex set of norms and expectations surrounding love and affection, and while some couples adhered strictly to these rules, others may have found ways to express their feelings more openly in private or in certain social circles.