Question

Is it rude to not let my mother-in-law hold my newborn baby? She and I don’t get along and I’m fearful she will take my baby from me. She’s done really messed up things to me but I don’t know if it’s too far. I’m a first time mom.

Answer 1

As a first-time mom, it's completely natural to have concerns and emotions about letting others hold your newborn baby, especially if you have a strained relationship with your mother-in-law due to past negative experiences. Your baby's safety and well-being are of the utmost importance, so it's essential to prioritize what you feel is best for your child and yourself.

Here are some points to consider:

1. Baby's well-being: As a parent, you have the right and responsibility to prioritize your baby's safety and comfort. If you have concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior or her ability to handle your baby safely, it's entirely appropriate to take necessary precautions.

2. Set boundaries: It's crucial to establish boundaries that you feel comfortable with and communicate them openly with your spouse and other family members, including your mother-in-law. Discuss your concerns calmly and assertively, expressing your intentions to ensure your baby's well-being.

3. Supervised visits: If you're uncomfortable with the idea of your mother-in-law holding the baby without your presence, consider arranging supervised visits where you or your spouse are present to monitor the interactions.

4. Support from your spouse: Talk to your spouse about your feelings and concerns. It's essential to have their support and understanding in navigating this situation together.

5. Seek guidance: If the relationship with your mother-in-law is particularly challenging, consider seeking professional guidance from a family therapist or counselor. They can provide insights and strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.

6. Trust your instincts: As a new mom, you'll likely develop strong maternal instincts. Trust these instincts and prioritize your baby's safety and your own well-being.

Remember, you are not obligated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, especially when it comes to the safety and happiness of your child. It's okay to assert your boundaries and prioritize your baby's needs. At the same time, it's essential to try to maintain open lines of communication with your spouse and other family members to address any issues that arise. Your baby's well-being is a shared responsibility, and finding a balance that works for everyone is crucial for a healthy family dynamic.