I'm sorry to hear about the strained relationship with your mother-in-law and the loss you're experiencing. Deciding whether or not to attend someone's funeral is a deeply personal and sensitive matter. It's essential to consider various factors and emotions before making such a decision. Here are some things to think about:
Your relationship: Reflect on the nature of your relationship with your mother-in-law. While it might not have been positive, consider whether attending the funeral could help you find closure or healing, or if it might add to your emotional burden.
Your spouse's feelings: Communicate openly with your spouse about your feelings and thoughts regarding the funeral. Your spouse may be grieving and facing a difficult time as well, so understanding their perspective and finding a way to support each other is crucial.
Respect for the deceased: Funerals are an opportunity to pay respects to the deceased and offer support to the grieving family members. If your presence could bring comfort to your spouse or other family members, it might be worth considering attending, even if it's challenging.
Self-care and emotional well-being: Take into account your emotional state and well-being. If attending the funeral is likely to cause significant distress or harm to your mental health, it's essential to prioritize self-care and find alternative ways to pay your respects or process your feelings.
Alternate ways to show respect: If attending the funeral is too difficult, you can explore other ways to express respect and condolences. Writing a heartfelt letter, sending flowers, or making a donation in memory of the deceased are alternative options to consider.
Family dynamics: Consider how your decision may impact your relationship with other family members. Sometimes, attending the funeral can be an opportunity to show a willingness to set aside differences and be present during challenging times.
In the end, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. It's essential to weigh your emotions, consider the perspectives of others involved, and make a decision that feels right for you and respects the memory of the deceased. If you're struggling with the decision, don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to help you navigate this difficult time.