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in Manners and Etiquette by (7.9k points)
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Asking a server how much they made in tips at the end of a shift is generally considered impolite and intrusive. A server's tips are their personal earnings and discussing financial matters can be sensitive and private. Servers work hard to provide good service, and their income often depends on tips, so it's essential to respect their privacy regarding this matter.

There are several reasons why asking about a server's tips can be inappropriate:

  1. Intrusiveness: Inquiring about someone's income can be intrusive and make the server uncomfortable, especially if they don't know you well.

  2. Privacy: Like with any personal financial matter, a server may not feel comfortable disclosing their earnings to customers.

  3. Sensitivity: A server's income can fluctuate depending on various factors, and some shifts may be better than others. Discussing tips can be a sensitive topic for servers who may already be dealing with the pressure of relying on tips as a significant portion of their income.

Instead of asking about tips, it's better to express gratitude for their service and show appreciation in a different way. You can thank them for their attentive service and leave a reasonable tip based on the quality of service you received. Tips are a way for customers to show appreciation and reward good service, but they should not be the subject of direct discussion with the server.

Remember, servers work hard to provide a positive dining experience, and treating them with respect and kindness is always the best approach.

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