Addressing someone's behavior, especially when they raise their voice, requires tact and sensitivity. Here's a polite way to handle the situation:
Choose the right time and place: Find a suitable and private moment to have this conversation. Make sure you both have enough time to talk without interruptions.
Stay calm and composed: Approach the conversation with a calm demeanor to set a positive tone for the discussion.
Use "I" statements: Start the conversation by expressing your feelings using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel uncomfortable when voices are raised during our conversations."
Be specific: Provide examples of times when their voice was raised, so they can understand the impact it had on you.
Request a change in behavior: Politely ask them to avoid raising their voice when speaking with you, explaining that it helps maintain a more respectful and productive conversation.
Inquire about their feelings: Show genuine concern and ask if there's anything bothering them that might be contributing to their behavior. Use a compassionate tone, such as "Is everything alright? I'm here to listen if something is bothering you."
Be open to their perspective: Allow them to express their feelings or concerns if they choose to. Be an active listener and avoid interrupting.
Offer your support: Let them know that you are willing to work together to find a resolution to any issues that might be causing tension.
Example of a polite conversation starter:
"Hey [their name], I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind. I've noticed that during our conversations, there have been times when voices were raised, and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I value our communication, and I believe we can have more productive discussions if we keep a calm tone. Is there something specific that's bothering you? I want you to know that I'm here to listen and support you if there's anything you'd like to discuss."
Remember that resolving conflicts and addressing issues takes time and understanding. Approach the conversation with empathy and the goal of improving your communication and relationship with the other person.