Asking someone to stop borrowing things can be done politely and respectfully by following these guidelines:
Be direct but gentle: Be straightforward about your request while maintaining a calm and friendly tone. Avoid using accusatory or aggressive language.
Use "I" statements: Frame your request using "I" statements to express how their actions impact you personally. This approach avoids sounding confrontational.
Express appreciation: Start by acknowledging any help or favors they might have done for you in the past, showing gratitude for their previous assistance.
Explain your feelings: Politely explain how you feel about lending your belongings and any concerns you might have. Be sincere and honest without being accusatory.
Set boundaries: Politely set clear boundaries regarding your belongings and emphasize that you prefer not to lend them out in the future.
Offer alternatives: If applicable, suggest alternative solutions, like recommending where they can get the item or offering to help them find one if possible.
Example:
"Hey [Friend's Name], I really appreciate all the times you've helped me out, and I'm glad we're close enough to rely on each other. Recently, I've been feeling a bit uneasy about lending out some of my belongings. I hope you understand that it's not about you, but rather a personal preference I'd like to stick to going forward. I hope this doesn't cause any inconvenience for you, but I'd prefer not to lend my things anymore. If you need something, I'd be more than happy to help you find it or explore other solutions together. I hope you understand, and thank you for respecting my decision."
Remember that setting boundaries is a normal part of any relationship, and a true friend will understand and respect your wishes. Communication is key, and addressing the situation politely can lead to a better understanding between both parties.