It's unfortunate to hear that people have told you that you scare others when you talk to them. There could be several reasons why this is happening, and it's essential to reflect on your communication style and behaviors to understand how you might be perceived by others. Here are some possible reasons:
Intensity: If you come across as overly intense or passionate in your conversations, it might be overwhelming for some people. Try to be mindful of your tone and body language, ensuring that you are not overly forceful or dominating in discussions.
Body Language: Non-verbal cues play a significant role in how we communicate with others. If your body language appears closed off, defensive, or aggressive, it can make others uncomfortable.
Personal Boundaries: People have different comfort levels with personal space and intimacy. If you dive into personal topics or get too familiar too quickly, some individuals might feel uneasy.
Lack of Empathy: Building relationships requires empathy and understanding. If you focus too much on yourself or don't show genuine interest in others' perspectives, they may perceive you as uncaring.
Conversation Dominance: Pay attention to how much you talk versus listen. If you tend to dominate conversations and don't give others a chance to contribute, they may feel left out or disregarded.
Social Anxiety: It's possible that your own social anxiety might come across as intimidating to others, even if it's unintentional. Working on managing your anxiety can help create a more relaxed atmosphere in social interactions.
Cultural Differences: As a newcomer in Canada, there might be cultural differences influencing your communication style. What is considered appropriate in one culture might be perceived differently in another.
Past Experiences: People may have had negative experiences in the past, making them more cautious and less open to new friendships. It's not necessarily a reflection of your personality, but their own history.
To address these issues and improve your social interactions:
- Pay attention to how others react during conversations and adjust your approach accordingly.
- Practice active listening and show genuine interest in what others have to say.
- Be mindful of your body language and maintain open and approachable gestures.
- Respect personal boundaries and avoid pushing too quickly into personal or sensitive topics.
- Seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors about how you come across in conversations.
- Join social skills or communication workshops to improve your conversational abilities.
- Work on building your self-confidence and emotional intelligence.
Remember, making friends is a gradual process, and it's normal to face challenges along the way. Be patient with yourself and others, and continue making efforts to connect with people who share your interests and values. Over time, you'll find friends who appreciate and enjoy your company.