It's important to recognize that assigning blame in a relationship breakup is not always straightforward, and it's rarely a black-and-white situation. Blaming yourself or your ex entirely may not be the most helpful way to understand the complexities of the situation. Relationships are influenced by a variety of factors, and it's often a combination of individual and mutual dynamics that contribute to their success or failure.
In the scenario you described, it seems that your ex chose to go back to his ex before you, who had previously cheated on him. It's possible that he still had unresolved feelings for her, or he might have been drawn back to a familiar and comfortable relationship despite its past issues. This decision could reflect more on his emotional state and decision-making than on anything you did wrong.
As for your part in the breakup, based on the information provided, you mentioned that you did nothing wrong. If that's the case, it's crucial to remember that not every breakup is a result of one person's fault. Sometimes, relationships simply don't work out, even if one person hasn't done anything wrong.
It's essential to avoid being too hard on yourself and recognize that breakups can happen for various reasons. Instead of dwelling on blame, focus on learning from the experience and understanding what you want and need from future relationships.
Here are some helpful steps to take after a breakup:
Self-reflection: Reflect on the relationship and identify any patterns or lessons you can take away from the experience. This can help you grow and make better choices in the future.
Self-care: Take care of yourself during this time of healing. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with supportive friends or family, and consider seeking professional help if needed.
Avoid comparisons: Try not to compare yourself to your ex's previous partner or anyone else. Each relationship is unique, and comparing yourself will not help you in your healing process.
No-contact: If possible, implement a period of no-contact with your ex to give yourself space and time to heal.
Stay open to new opportunities: While it's essential to heal from the breakup, remain open to new connections and experiences when you feel ready.
Ultimately, a breakup involves the choices and actions of both individuals involved. Acknowledging this can help you avoid placing undue blame on yourself and work towards personal growth and emotional well-being.