It's understandable that after a long and intense relationship, you may still have feelings for your ex-partner, even if the relationship was toxic and challenging. There can be various reasons why you still love and want her back:
Emotional Attachment: After seven years together, a strong emotional bond is likely to have formed. It can be challenging to let go of those feelings, especially if they were intense and passionate at times.
Familiarity and Comfort: Familiarity and comfort play a significant role in relationships. Even if the relationship was toxic, the familiarity of being with that person can make it difficult to move on.
Hope for Change: Sometimes, people hold onto the hope that the other person will change or that circumstances will improve. This hope can keep them attached to the idea of getting back together.
Low Self-Esteem: In toxic relationships, individuals may have their self-esteem diminished, making it harder to move on and believe they deserve better.
Influence of External Factors: In this case, you mentioned psychics and the belief in karmic entanglements and black magic. If someone strongly believes in these concepts, they may attribute their feelings and experiences to these external factors.
Emotional Wounds: Toxic relationships can leave deep emotional wounds. It may take time and effort to heal from these wounds fully.
Idealization: Sometimes, when we look back on a past relationship, we may idealize the positive aspects and downplay the negative ones, making it harder to let go.
While these feelings are natural and understandable, it is essential to prioritize your well-being and emotional health. Continuing to pursue a relationship with someone who possesses toxic traits can lead to further emotional harm. It might be helpful to seek professional support from a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings, process the past relationship, and build healthier patterns for the future.
Focus on self-care, personal growth, and building a support network of friends and loved ones who can help you through this difficult time. Remember that you deserve a relationship that is based on mutual respect, trust, and emotional well-being. Sometimes, letting go and moving on is the healthiest choice for both individuals involved.