I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Dealing with emotions, trust issues, and long-term relationships can be incredibly challenging. Ultimately, the decision of what to do next is yours, but I can offer some guidance to help you navigate this situation.
Take time to process your emotions: It's essential to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions fully. Give yourself the space to grieve, be angry, and understand your feelings. This can be a painful and confusing time, but acknowledging your emotions is a crucial step in moving forward.
Communicate openly with your partner: Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel and your concerns. Ask him to be transparent about the situation, his feelings, and his intentions moving forward. Open communication is essential to rebuild trust if that's what you both want.
Seek clarity on his commitment: You mentioned he wants to marry you, but it's essential to understand if his commitment is genuine and not just a reaction to the situation. Make sure he is willing to work on rebuilding trust and making amends for his actions.
Consider couples counseling: If you both decide to work through this together, couples counseling can be beneficial. A professional counselor can help facilitate communication, address underlying issues, and assist in rebuilding trust.
Evaluate your own feelings and needs: Take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. Consider if you can forgive him and move forward without lingering doubts and resentment.
Set boundaries: If you decide to give the relationship another chance, establish clear boundaries and expectations. Ensure that you both understand what is acceptable and what is not in the relationship.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and the situation you're facing. Having a support system can be immensely helpful during this challenging time.
Be patient with yourself: Healing and making significant decisions take time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space to process everything fully.
Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all solution in situations like this. It's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and long-term happiness. Sometimes, seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and support.