Feeling like an option to someone can be hurtful and frustrating, especially if they only come back to you when things don't work out with someone else. It's essential to recognize your worth and not settle for being someone's backup plan. Here are some steps you can take to change this dynamic:
Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your ex. Let them know that you won't be available as a fallback option whenever they want. Make it clear that you deserve to be treated with respect and not as a second choice.
Value Yourself: Understand your self-worth and recognize that you deserve to be with someone who genuinely values and appreciates you, not someone who keeps you as a backup plan.
Reflect on Past Patterns: Take some time to reflect on the relationship and the patterns that have emerged. Understand why you might have allowed yourself to be in this position in the past and focus on breaking free from that pattern.
Limit Contact: Consider reducing or cutting off contact with your ex, especially if they repeatedly come back only when they need someone. This will give you space to heal and gain perspective.
Focus on Personal Growth: Invest time and energy in your personal growth, hobbies, and interests. By focusing on yourself, you'll build self-confidence and become less reliant on external validation.
Date with Intention: If you're open to dating, be mindful of whom you invest your time and emotions in. Choose partners who are respectful and genuinely interested in building a healthy relationship.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who value you for who you are. Talking to a therapist or counselor can also be helpful in processing your feelings and gaining clarity on your emotions.
Stay Firm: If your ex comes back again, resist the temptation to fall back into the same pattern. Remember your worth and remind yourself that you deserve better.
Changing this dynamic might not be easy, but it's essential to prioritize your happiness and emotional well-being. By taking steps to value yourself, set boundaries, and focus on personal growth, you can break free from being seen as just an option and create healthier relationships in the future.