First of all, it's commendable that you have taken responsibility for your actions and acknowledge the hurt you caused. Rebuilding a relationship after such a significant breach of trust is a difficult journey, but it's positive to see that you both are back together and in a better place.
Forgiving yourself can be a challenging process, but it's essential for your healing and growth. Here are some steps to help you in the process of self-forgiveness:
Acceptance and Responsibility: Acknowledge and accept what you did. Take responsibility for your actions without making excuses or minimizing the impact of your choices.
Understanding and Empathy: Try to understand why you made those choices at the time. Examine your emotions, vulnerabilities, and circumstances that led to the infidelity. This doesn't justify the actions, but understanding can provide insights into avoiding such behavior in the future.
Learn from Your Mistakes: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and change. Commit to not repeating the same mistakes and work on becoming a better partner and person.
Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and while infidelity is a significant one, it doesn't define your entire being. Show yourself the same compassion and understanding you would offer to a friend who made a mistake.
Communication with Your Partner: Continue to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings of guilt and remorse. Sharing your emotions with your partner can foster understanding and strengthen the bond between you.
Focus on the Present and Future: While it's essential to acknowledge the past, dwelling on it excessively may hinder your progress. Focus on building a healthier and happier future together.
Seek Counseling or Therapy: Consider individual counseling or couples therapy to work through your emotions and navigate the complexities of rebuilding trust. A professional can provide guidance and support throughout the process.
Practice Patience: Self-forgiveness is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal gradually.
Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate the positive changes you've made in yourself and your relationship. Celebrating milestones, no matter how small, can reinforce your commitment to growth and change.
Give Back: Sometimes, making amends can help with self-forgiveness. Consider finding ways to give back to your community or helping others in need, as it can be a step towards healing and redemption.
Remember, self-forgiveness is an ongoing journey, and it's okay to have setbacks. The key is to continue working on being a better person and partner every day. Be patient and kind to yourself, and with time and effort, self-forgiveness will become more attainable.