Fairness in a relationship involves open communication, mutual respect, and consideration for each other's feelings and boundaries. In this situation, it seems there is a lack of communication and understanding between you and your boyfriend.
While it's true that both partners in a living arrangement have the right to use and enjoy the shared space, it is also essential to respect each other's preferences and needs. Here are a few points to consider:
Open Communication: In any shared living situation, it's crucial to communicate openly about expectations and preferences. Both of you should discuss and agree on guidelines for having guests over, especially if it involves people staying for an extended period or if you prefer some advance notice.
Respect for Boundaries: Regardless of who pays what portion of the rent, respecting each other's boundaries and preferences is crucial for a healthy relationship. If having people over without notice makes you uncomfortable, your boyfriend should take that into consideration.
Balance and Compromise: It's essential for both partners to find a balance between their individual needs and the needs of the relationship. This may involve compromise on both sides to ensure that each person feels respected and heard.
Establishing Household Rules: Consider discussing and setting some household rules together. These rules can include guidelines on guests, quiet hours, chores, and other aspects of living together.
Finding Solutions Together: If there are disagreements, try to find solutions together rather than taking an adversarial approach. Understand each other's perspectives and work towards a resolution that considers both of your feelings.
Considerate Invitations: Even though he may not need "permission" to have guests, your boyfriend can still be considerate by giving you a heads-up before inviting people over. This simple act of communication can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that you both feel comfortable in your shared space.
Ultimately, what matters most is how both of you feel in the relationship and living situation. If your boyfriend's actions are making you feel disregarded or uncomfortable, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings. Healthy relationships thrive on understanding, empathy, and compromise, so working together to find a solution that meets both of your needs is essential for a harmonious living arrangement.