It's a complex and nuanced situation that depends on various factors and emotions involved.
It's essential to recognize that people stay in relationships for many reasons, and it's not always easy to pinpoint one specific motive. Some possibilities to consider are:
Love and forgiveness: It's possible that your ex genuinely loves you and has chosen to forgive your past actions, believing that people can change and grow. Love can be a powerful force that leads individuals to look past mistakes and give second chances.
Codependency: In some cases, people might stay in a relationship out of codependency, which is an unhealthy reliance on each other's approval and validation. Codependent relationships can be driven by fear of being alone or a need to rescue or "fix" the other person.
Fear of change or uncertainty: Leaving a long-term relationship can be daunting, and some individuals may choose to stay due to the fear of being alone or facing the unknown.
Low self-esteem: A person with low self-esteem might believe they don't deserve better treatment or feel they cannot find someone else who will love them, leading them to stay in a challenging relationship.
Hope for improvement: Your ex might see potential for positive change in the relationship and hope that things will improve over time.
Emotional investment: The history and emotional investment in a relationship can also influence the decision to stay together despite difficult circumstances.
Regardless of the reasons, it's crucial to address the issues that led to the negative behaviors and work on personal growth and self-improvement. Open and honest communication with your partner is essential to understanding each other's feelings and motivations.
If you feel remorseful about your past actions, consider seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to address any underlying issues and learn healthier ways to cope with emotions and communicate in the relationship.
It's also essential to respect your partner's feelings and choices. If both of you are willing to work on the relationship and support each other's growth, it might be possible to build a healthier and happier future together. However, if the relationship is causing harm and both parties are not committed to making positive changes, it might be necessary to reevaluate the situation and consider other options for your well-being.