I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing these intrusive thoughts. It's essential to take such thoughts seriously and seek help as soon as possible. Here are some steps you can take:
Reach out to someone you trust: Talk to a friend, family member, or someone you feel comfortable with about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can provide emotional support and understanding.
Seek professional help: Contact a mental health professional such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist. They are trained to help individuals facing mental health challenges, including intrusive thoughts of self-harm. They can provide you with a proper evaluation, support, and treatment options.
Crisis helplines: If you feel overwhelmed and need immediate support, don't hesitate to call a crisis helpline or suicide prevention hotline. Many countries have dedicated helplines available 24/7 to provide assistance and a listening ear.
Create a safety plan: While seeking professional help, create a safety plan with the guidance of a mental health professional. A safety plan involves identifying triggers, coping strategies, and emergency contacts to reach out to during difficult times.
Avoid isolation: Try to stay connected with others and avoid isolating yourself. Engaging in activities with friends or family can provide a distraction and support during challenging moments.
Remove potential means of self-harm: If you have any objects that could be used for self-harm, consider removing them from your immediate environment.
Practice self-care: Engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as meditation, exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies.
Remember, intrusive thoughts of self-harm are treatable, and there is hope for improvement with the right support and treatment. Don't hesitate to seek help immediately, as early intervention can make a significant difference. You don't have to go through this alone, and there are people who want to help you through this difficult time.