I understand that living with harm OCD and disturbing intrusive thoughts can be distressing and challenging. It's important to know that having intrusive thoughts does not mean you will act on them or that they reflect your true intentions. Intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of various anxiety-related disorders and do not define who you are as a person.
During surgery, when you are under anesthesia, your conscious control and awareness are profoundly reduced. Anesthesia ensures that you will not be conscious and aware of your thoughts or actions during the procedure. In this state, it is highly unlikely that you would say anything, including your intrusive thoughts, aloud.
Healthcare professionals who are administering the anesthesia are well-trained to ensure your safety and privacy during surgery. They understand the effects of anesthesia and are focused on the medical procedure itself, not on monitoring your thoughts or interpreting any potential statements you might make while under anesthesia.
If you still have concerns about this, it may be beneficial to talk to your healthcare provider or the medical team involved in your surgery about your worries beforehand. They can provide you with reassurance and answer any specific questions you may have, which may help alleviate your anxiety.
For managing harm OCD and intrusive thoughts, I strongly recommend seeking professional help from a mental health specialist who is experienced in treating anxiety disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure and response prevention (ERP) are often used in the treatment of harm OCD and have shown to be effective in helping individuals cope with intrusive thoughts and reduce anxiety.
Remember, reaching out for support from healthcare professionals and mental health experts is a crucial step in managing and improving your well-being.