The question "What are you doing?" is a common conversation starter, and its use can vary depending on the context and the relationship between the individuals involved. There are a few reasons why people might use this question, and while it may not always feel intrusive, it can certainly be perceived that way in certain situations. Here are some possible reasons:
Small talk: In many cultures, asking "What are you doing?" is a form of small talk that allows people to initiate a conversation in a casual manner. It's often used as a way to break the ice or start a conversation with someone they haven't spoken to in a while.
Genuine interest: Sometimes, people ask this question because they genuinely want to know what you are up to or how you are spending your time. It can be a way for them to show concern or to keep the conversation going.
Politeness: In certain social settings, asking about someone's current activities is seen as a polite way to engage with them and show interest in their life.
However, you are right that this question can feel intrusive in some situations. Here are a few reasons why it might be perceived this way:
Lack of context: When the question is asked out of the blue or by someone you don't know well, it can feel intrusive because it lacks context. It may come across as prying into your personal life without a genuine reason.
Invasion of privacy: If the question is asked in a way that feels too probing or comes across as though the person is trying to pry into your personal affairs, it can feel intrusive.
Tone and delivery: The way the question is asked and the tone used can significantly impact how it's perceived. If it sounds judgmental or overly curious, it can be off-putting.
Cultural differences: In some cultures, asking about someone's activities or personal life is considered normal, while in others, it may be seen as invasive or impolite.
If you feel uncomfortable when someone asks you this question, you can respond in a way that redirects the conversation or lets them know you prefer not to share that information at the moment. Remember that setting boundaries in conversations is entirely valid, and people should respect your choice to share or not to share certain aspects of your life.