It's not uncommon for people to perceive themselves differently than how others see them. There could be various reasons for this disconnect between self-perception and how others perceive you. Here are some possible factors:
Subjectivity: We tend to view ourselves through our own subjective lens, often focusing on our intentions, feelings, and experiences. On the other hand, others observe our external behavior and may interpret it differently.
Blind spots: We all have blind spots in our self-awareness, areas of our behavior or personality that we may not be fully aware of. These blind spots can impact how others perceive us.
Emotional response: Criticism can trigger emotional reactions, making it difficult to objectively assess ourselves. We may feel defensive or hurt, leading us to reject or deny the criticism rather than examining it constructively.
Communication style: Sometimes, our communication style may not align well with others, leading to misunderstandings or misinterpretations.
To assess your own behavior and work on improving how you handle criticism, consider these steps:
Reflect on past interactions: Take some time to reflect on past situations where you received criticism. Try to objectively evaluate your responses and emotional reactions. Were there any patterns in how you reacted?
Seek feedback: Talk to close friends, family members, or colleagues whom you trust and ask for honest feedback about how they perceive your reactions to criticism. Their input can provide valuable insights into your blind spots.
Be open to criticism: Cultivate a mindset of openness to criticism, understanding that it can be an opportunity for personal growth and improvement. Instead of immediately dismissing criticism, try to approach it with curiosity and a willingness to learn.
Pause before responding: When you receive criticism, take a moment to breathe and process the information before responding. Avoid reacting defensively or emotionally, as it may escalate the situation and hinder self-assessment.
Ask for specifics: If the criticism is vague or general, ask for specific examples or instances where your behavior was seen as oversensitive. This can help you better understand the issue and identify areas for improvement.
Practice active listening: During conversations, practice active listening. Try to understand the perspectives of others, even if you disagree. Acknowledge their opinions and feelings without immediately feeling attacked.
Empathy and perspective-taking: Put yourself in the shoes of the person giving the criticism. Try to understand their intentions and concerns. This can help you approach the situation more empathetically.
Seek professional help if needed: If you find it challenging to manage your emotional responses to criticism or struggle with self-awareness, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and tools to work through these challenges.
Remember that change takes time and effort, and it's essential to be patient with yourself as you work on improving how you handle criticism. By being open to feedback and self-reflection, you can build stronger relationships and improve your self-awareness.