Question

How do I do ? I was wrong, I apologised and my partner keeps attacking me about how bad I made him feel. When I tell him that it makes me feel bad that he does that, he tells me that I talk about myself and acts like the victim.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are experiencing a challenging situation in your relationship. Dealing with conflicts and misunderstandings can be difficult, but it's important to find healthy ways to communicate and resolve issues together. Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:

1. Listen actively: Try to understand your partner's feelings and perspective. Listen without interrupting or becoming defensive. Let them express their emotions and concerns openly.

2. Empathize with their feelings: Show empathy and understanding for how your actions may have hurt them. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know you genuinely care about their well-being.

3. Take responsibility for your actions: If you have already apologized, reaffirm your apology and take responsibility for any hurt you caused. Make it clear that you are sincerely sorry and that you will try to avoid repeating the mistake.

4. Express your feelings: It's essential to communicate how your partner's continued attacks make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming them. For example, say, "I feel hurt when I'm repeatedly criticized," instead of "You always attack me."

5. Set boundaries: Let your partner know that while you understand their feelings, constant attacks are not conducive to resolving the issue. Ask for a more constructive way to communicate and discuss problems.

6. Consider couples counseling: If the conflict persists and communication seems difficult, couples counseling can be beneficial. A neutral third party can help facilitate healthier communication and understanding between you both.

7. Give each other space: Sometimes, taking a short break from each other can help both of you calm down and gain some perspective. Take some time to reflect on the situation before revisiting the discussion.

8. Focus on resolution: Instead of dwelling on who is the victim, try to focus on finding a resolution together. Discuss how you both can move forward and rebuild trust.

Remember that every relationship has its ups and downs, and resolving conflicts requires effort and understanding from both partners. If your partner is unwilling to engage in healthy communication or continues to act defensively, it might be essential to evaluate the overall health of the relationship and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor.