The decision of whether to ask someone's parents before proposing or after they say yes can depend on cultural, familial, and individual preferences. Different people and societies have varying customs and traditions regarding this matter. Here are some considerations to help you make an informed decision:
Cultural and familial traditions: In some cultures, it is customary and respectful to seek the parents' blessing or approval before proposing marriage. This tradition is often seen as a sign of respect and acknowledgment of the family's role in the couple's life. If you or your partner come from a culture with such customs, it might be expected or appreciated to involve the parents early on.
Communication with your partner: Open communication with your partner is crucial. Discuss your intentions and plans together before making any decisions. Some people might prefer that you speak with their parents before proposing, while others may feel it is unnecessary or prefer to handle it themselves after the proposal.
Relationship dynamics: Consider the relationship your partner has with their parents. If they have a close bond with their parents and value their opinions, involving them in the process might be significant. On the other hand, if they have a strained relationship with their parents, it might be more appropriate to discuss it after your partner has accepted the proposal.
Privacy and surprise: Proposals are often special and romantic moments, and involving parents before the proposal might affect the element of surprise. If keeping the proposal private is important to your partner, you might want to propose first and then share the news with parents afterward.
Mutual agreement: Ultimately, marriage is a decision between you and your partner. While parental approval can be meaningful, it should not be the sole determinant of your relationship's future. Ensure that both you and your partner are in agreement about getting married before involving parents in the conversation.
Flexibility: Remember that every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Be flexible and open to discussing the matter with your partner to understand their preferences and cultural considerations better.
In conclusion, the best course of action is to communicate openly with your partner, understand their wishes, and be sensitive to cultural and familial expectations. Whatever you decide, make sure it aligns with your partner's values and is in the best interest of your relationship.