Question

Should I disobey my mother? She refuses to let me cut my hair, so I went and got it the way I wanted and she got extremely mad at me to the point of hitting me. I’m 19 she should understand but she refuses to reason.

Answer 1

Ultimately, the decision of whether to disobey your mother or not is up to you, but it's crucial to consider the potential consequences and the dynamics of your relationship with her.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Safety first: If there's a risk of physical harm or abuse, prioritize your safety above all else. No one has the right to physically harm you, regardless of the situation.

2. Communication: Try to have a calm and respectful conversation with your mother about why you want to cut your hair and how it is essential to you. Share your feelings and thoughts, and encourage her to express her concerns as well.

3. Respect her perspective: While you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions, understand that parents may have strong feelings and beliefs about certain matters. Respect her point of view even if you disagree.

4. Autonomy and boundaries: As an adult, you have the right to make decisions about your appearance and life. However, it's essential to strike a balance between asserting your autonomy and maintaining a level of respect and consideration for your mother's feelings.

5. Seek support: If you find it challenging to communicate with your mother on your own, consider seeking support from a family counselor or a mediator who can help facilitate a constructive conversation.

6. Evaluate the situation: Reflect on the reasons behind your mother's reaction. Are there cultural or religious factors at play? Understanding her perspective might help find a middle ground.

7. Independence: At 19, you are entering adulthood, and it's natural to seek more independence. However, transitioning from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship can be a process that takes time and understanding from both parties.

8. Weighing the risks and benefits: Before making any decisions, consider the potential consequences of disobeying your mother and assess whether it aligns with your values and long-term goals.

Remember that each situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It's essential to consider your well-being, your relationship with your mother, and your individual circumstances. If you feel overwhelmed or unsafe, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professional support for guidance.