Dealing with hurtful comments from a loved one can be challenging, especially when it's your own mom. It's essential to address the situation with empathy and open communication. Here are some steps you can take to handle this situation:
Stay calm and composed: It's natural to feel hurt or defensive when someone makes negative comments about your abilities or future prospects. However, try to remain calm and avoid reacting impulsively.
Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet and comfortable environment where you can talk without distractions. Avoid addressing the issue in the heat of the moment or during an argument.
Express your feelings: Talk to your mom about how her comments make you feel. Be honest and vulnerable about the impact her words have on your self-esteem and confidence.
Ask for understanding: Explain that her comments hurt you and that you need her support and encouragement instead of criticism.
Seek to understand her perspective: While it's essential for her to know how her comments affect you, try to understand her motivations behind making those remarks. Maybe she is concerned about your future and expressing it in an inappropriate way.
Show your goals and plans: Share your dreams, goals, and plans for the future with her. Explain the steps you're taking to achieve them. Demonstrating that you have a vision and are actively working towards it might help her see your determination and capabilities.
Set boundaries: If her comments persist despite your efforts to communicate, set boundaries regarding the topics she can and cannot discuss with you. Politely let her know that you'd rather not discuss certain things to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Seek support: If your mom's comments continue to be hurtful, consider seeking support from other family members, friends, or even a counselor. Speaking with someone you trust can help you process your feelings and gain perspective on the situation.
Practice self-compassion: Remember that you are capable and worthy, regardless of what others say. Be kind to yourself and focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
Be patient: Changing deeply ingrained behavior takes time. It might require multiple conversations and consistent effort to get your mom to understand your perspective fully.
Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, support, and understanding. It's essential to communicate openly with your mom to resolve this issue and strengthen your bond.