It's understandable that you find your husband's gesture upsetting, as it can be interpreted as a dismissive or controlling behavior. Open communication is crucial in addressing this issue and finding a resolution. Here are some steps you can take:
Choose the right time and place: Find a calm and private moment when you both can talk without distractions or interruptions.
Express your feelings: Share your feelings with your husband and let him know how his actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express yourself without sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel hurt when you put your hand on my arm to signal me to stop talking" rather than "You always interrupt me."
Ask for his perspective: Give your husband the opportunity to explain his intentions behind the gesture. It's possible that he may not realize how it makes you feel or that he has different reasons for doing it.
Set boundaries: If you find his behavior disrespectful, let him know that you would prefer he communicates with you differently. Discuss alternative ways to handle situations when he wants to interject or address something during conversations.
Discuss expectations: Talk about how you both want to be treated in social settings. Share what you consider respectful communication and active listening, and encourage him to do the same.
Seek compromise: Look for a middle ground where both of you feel comfortable and respected. This might involve finding a discreet and respectful way for him to signal you without physically touching you or agreeing on a different way to indicate that you should pause.
Explore deeper issues: Sometimes, gestures like this may stem from other underlying issues in the relationship. If needed, consider couples counseling to address any communication or emotional dynamics that might be affecting your interactions.
Encourage open communication: Emphasize the importance of open and honest communication in your relationship. Encourage your husband to share his thoughts and feelings with you as well.
Be patient: Changing behavior and communication patterns takes time. Be patient with each other as you work together to improve your interactions.
Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Addressing issues like this in a constructive manner can lead to a better understanding of each other's perspectives and strengthen your relationship.