There could be several reasons why your fiancé and partner of 7 years are unwilling to talk about your wedding without starting an argument. It's essential to approach this situation with empathy and understanding. Here are some possible reasons:
Fear or Anxiety: Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, and some individuals may feel anxious about the process. They might be worried about making the wrong decisions or the financial implications of the wedding, leading to arguments as a way to cope with their fears.
Different Expectations: You and your partner might have different expectations and desires for the wedding. If these expectations are not communicated and understood, it can lead to conflicts when discussing the plans.
Family Pressure: Family and societal expectations surrounding weddings can add stress to the planning process. Your partner might be dealing with pressure from their family or trying to balance different family expectations, leading to tension and arguments.
Communication Issues: Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially during important discussions like wedding planning. If there are underlying communication issues or misunderstandings, it can lead to arguments.
Prioritizing Other Matters: Your partner might be preoccupied with other aspects of life, such as work, personal issues, or health concerns, which can make it difficult to focus on wedding planning without feeling overwhelmed.
Financial Concerns: Weddings can be expensive, and financial concerns can cause stress and tension. Your partner might be hesitant to discuss the wedding due to worries about budgeting and affordability.
Lack of Interest: It's possible that your partner is not as excited about the wedding as you are. They might not be enthusiastic about the planning process and, as a result, avoid discussing it.
Past Issues or Resentments: If there are unresolved issues or resentments between you and your partner, these can resurface during wedding planning discussions, leading to arguments.
To address this situation, here are some suggestions:
Choose the Right Time: Find a calm and appropriate time to discuss the wedding when both of you are relaxed and not already engaged in other stressful activities.
Express Your Feelings: Share your feelings and concerns with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Make sure to be understanding and non-confrontational in your approach.
Seek Professional Help: If communication issues persist or seem deeply rooted, consider seeking couples counseling. A professional can help you both navigate through the challenges and improve communication.
Compromise and Flexibility: Be open to compromising on certain aspects of the wedding. It's essential to remember that a wedding should be a reflection of both your preferences and values.
Take Breaks from Wedding Planning: Give yourselves breaks from wedding planning discussions if they become too overwhelming. Focus on nurturing your relationship without the wedding talk.
Involve a Neutral Third Party: If there are specific conflicts that seem challenging to resolve, consider involving a neutral third party, like a close friend or family member, who can provide an objective perspective.
Remember, a wedding is just one day, and what truly matters is the relationship you have with your partner. Make sure to prioritize open communication, empathy, and understanding throughout this process.