Responding to a statement like "I never wanted kids" from a parent can be challenging, as it may bring up complex emotions and feelings. Here are some tips on how to handle this situation with sensitivity and understanding:
Stay calm: Hearing such a statement can be hurtful, but try to remain composed and avoid reacting with anger or defensiveness.
Empathize: Understand that your parent's feelings may not be about you personally. People's desires and life choices can change over time, and it's possible that your parent's statement is about their past feelings or circumstances.
Seek clarification (if needed): If you feel comfortable doing so, ask your parent to elaborate on their statement. This can help you better understand their perspective and the reasons behind their feelings.
Express your feelings: If you feel safe doing so, share your own feelings about what they said. Be honest about how their statement made you feel without attacking or blaming them.
Avoid blame or guilt: Remember that your parent's feelings are their own, and they are entitled to their emotions and opinions. Avoid blaming yourself or feeling guilty for their choices or feelings.
Seek support: If you find it difficult to cope with your emotions after hearing this statement, consider talking to a friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings.
Focus on building a positive relationship: Try to focus on the present and the future, rather than dwelling on the past or negative feelings. Look for ways to build a positive and supportive relationship with your parent based on understanding and mutual respect.
Practice self-compassion: Remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take time to process your emotions and seek support if needed.
It's important to note that every situation is unique, and there may be underlying family dynamics and history that can influence how you respond. If the statement raises more significant concerns about your relationship with your parent or your well-being, consider seeking professional advice or counseling to help navigate through the complexities of the situation.