I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced hurtful comments during fights with your partners. It's important to remember that hurtful behavior is not acceptable, and no one deserves to be treated disrespectfully or called names.
There could be several reasons why some individuals might engage in hurtful behavior during arguments:
Emotional Reactivity: During heated arguments, people may say things they don't mean out of anger or frustration. They might use hurtful words as a way to retaliate or hurt the other person emotionally, even though they don't truly believe those statements.
Insecurity: Some individuals may try to bring others down to feel more powerful or in control. By calling you names, they might be trying to undermine your self-esteem to make themselves feel better or more secure.
Lack of Communication Skills: Some people may not have developed healthy communication skills, and resort to hurtful language when they feel overwhelmed or unable to express their emotions effectively.
Manipulation: In some cases, a partner might use hurtful words to manipulate and control you. This can be a form of emotional abuse, and it's essential to recognize and address such behavior.
External Influences: Stressful situations outside the relationship, personal issues, or unresolved conflicts may contribute to increased tension during fights, leading to hurtful words being said.
It's crucial to remember that you are not responsible for someone else's hurtful behavior. If someone repeatedly calls you names or belittles you during arguments, it's a sign of a toxic and unhealthy relationship.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, empathy, and effective communication. If you find yourself consistently facing hurtful behavior in your relationships, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor to help you navigate through these challenges. Remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love.