When communicating with a former cult member, it is essential to be sensitive and understanding. They may have experienced trauma, manipulation, or other difficult circumstances while being part of the cult. Here are some guidelines on what to avoid saying to a former cult member:
Don't trivialize their experience: Avoid making light of their time in the cult or belittling their emotions and experiences. Cult involvement can have profound effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being.
Avoid blaming or shaming: Refrain from blaming the former member for their involvement in the cult. Cults often employ manipulative tactics to attract and keep members, and individuals may have been vulnerable when they joined.
Don't pressure them to share details: Respect their boundaries and don't push them to share traumatic details of their cult experience unless they willingly choose to do so.
Avoid religious or spiritual debates: Steer clear of engaging in discussions that might resemble the dynamics of the cult or involve questioning their beliefs. Focus on providing emotional support and understanding instead.
Don't try to "rescue" or "convert" them: Trying to convince a former cult member to adopt a particular belief system can be intrusive and counterproductive. Allow them the space to process their experiences and make their own choices.
Avoid judgments and assumptions: Refrain from making assumptions about their experience or the reasons they joined the cult. Every individual's journey is unique, and it's essential to be compassionate and open-minded.
Don't try to dismiss their feelings: Never tell them to "get over it" or "move on." Recovery from cult involvement can be a long and challenging process, and everyone heals at their own pace.
Avoid invasive questions: Respect their privacy and avoid asking intrusive questions about their time in the cult, especially if they seem uncomfortable discussing it.
Don't use triggering language: Be mindful of the language you use and avoid triggering words or phrases that may remind them of their cult experience.
Avoid trying to "save" them: While you can offer support and understanding, remember that recovery from cult involvement is a personal journey. Allow them to take the lead in their healing process.
Instead of saying things that might be hurtful or unhelpful, focus on being a supportive and empathetic listener. Show understanding, offer encouragement, and be patient as they navigate their path to healing and recovery. If you're unsure about what to say, it's okay to express your support and ask them how you can best be there for them.