Question

What do you do if your mother-in-law tells you she is embarrassed of you because you don’t work and haven’t given her any grandchildren after 10 years of marriage to her son? I’m also embarrassed, but I’m a passive person with infertility issues.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging and hurtful situation. Dealing with family dynamics, especially when it involves sensitive topics like work, children, and infertility, can be emotionally difficult.

Here are some steps you can consider taking to address the situation:

1. Communication with your spouse: Share your feelings with your spouse about what your mother-in-law said and how it made you feel. It's essential to be on the same page and support each other during such situations.

2. Express your feelings: Consider talking to your mother-in-law about how her comment hurt you. Be honest about your infertility issues and explain that it's something beyond your control. Sharing your emotions can create a better understanding and potentially foster empathy.

3. Educate about infertility: If your mother-in-law seems unaware of infertility issues, you might gently educate her about the complexities of infertility and how it's not something you can easily overcome.

4. Set boundaries: If your mother-in-law's comments continue to be hurtful, you may need to set boundaries with her. Politely but firmly express that certain topics are off-limits for discussion, and you expect to be treated with respect.

5. Seek support: Don't hesitate to seek emotional support from friends, support groups, or a counselor who can understand and empathize with your situation. Talking to someone outside of the family can offer a fresh perspective and help you cope better with the emotional toll.

6. Focus on self-care: Infertility can be emotionally draining. Focus on self-care and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help you manage stress and maintain a positive outlook.

7. Consider professional help: If the situation becomes too overwhelming or challenging to handle on your own, you might consider seeking assistance from a family therapist or counselor who can help facilitate communication and understanding between you and your mother-in-law.

Remember that infertility is a medical condition and not something to be embarrassed about. It's crucial to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you during difficult times. Take care of yourself and your emotional well-being as you navigate through these challenges.