Addressing this situation with politeness is important to maintain a respectful relationship. Here's a suggested way to communicate your feelings and boundaries:
Choose the right time and place: Find a private and comfortable setting where you can talk without distractions or interruptions.
Be calm and composed: Approach the conversation with a calm demeanor to avoid any escalation of emotions.
Use "I" statements: Focus on expressing your feelings and experiences instead of accusing or blaming the person. This can help avoid putting them on the defensive.
Express appreciation: Begin by expressing gratitude for your friendship or relationship with the person. This sets a positive tone for the conversation.
Explain the issue: Clearly state the problem without being confrontational. Mention that you've noticed some of your belongings have not been returned after borrowing.
Share your feelings: Let them know how this makes you feel. For example, you might say, "I feel a bit uncomfortable when my things aren't returned because I rely on them for daily tasks."
Set clear boundaries: Politely inform them of your decision to refrain from lending your belongings in the future. You can say something like, "In order to avoid any misunderstandings, I've decided not to lend my things anymore."
Suggest alternatives: If you still want to help them, offer alternative solutions such as recommending places where they can borrow or purchase the items they need.
Listen to their perspective: Give them an opportunity to respond and share their thoughts. This shows respect for their feelings and opinions.
End on a positive note: Reiterate your appreciation for the relationship and express your hope that they understand your decision.
Example: "Hey [Friend's Name], I really appreciate our friendship and the time we spend together. I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind. I've noticed that sometimes when you borrow my things, they don't get returned, and it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I value our friendship, but to avoid any misunderstandings, I've decided not to lend my belongings anymore. I hope you understand. If you ever need something, I can suggest places where you can find it. Thanks for listening."
Remember, setting boundaries is healthy and necessary for maintaining positive relationships. Most people will understand and respect your decision once you communicate it respectfully.