I understand that you're feeling hurt and uncomfortable about your lover's question. In situations like this, it's essential to prioritize your feelings and boundaries. Here's what you can do:
Take your time to process: It's okay to take a moment to process your emotions before responding. Give yourself the space you need to understand how the question has made you feel and why it has affected you in that way.
Communicate honestly: When you feel ready, have an open and honest conversation with your lover about how the question made you feel. Express your emotions calmly and clearly, so they understand the impact of their words.
Set boundaries: Let your partner know that certain topics may be sensitive or make you uncomfortable. Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship, and it's essential to be clear about what you feel comfortable discussing.
Ask for clarification: Sometimes, questions may arise from curiosity or lack of awareness about how they might be perceived. You can ask your partner why they want to know or how that information is relevant to your relationship. This can help you understand their perspective better.
Educate them about consent and communication: Remind your partner that it's important to ask questions in a respectful and considerate manner. Discuss the significance of consent and communication in a relationship, where both partners feel safe and valued.
Focus on mutual respect: A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding. Emphasize the importance of supporting and respecting each other's feelings and boundaries.
Consider their reaction: Pay attention to how your partner responds to your feelings. If they are empathetic and understanding, it could be a positive sign for the relationship. However, if they become defensive or dismissive, it may indicate deeper issues that need addressing.
Reflect on the relationship: Take some time to reflect on your overall relationship dynamics. If you notice a pattern of insensitivity or lack of respect for your boundaries, it might be essential to evaluate if this is the kind of relationship you want to continue.
Remember, it's crucial to have open and respectful communication in a relationship. If your partner cares for you, they will listen to your concerns and work together with you to build a stronger, more supportive connection. If, however, they do not respond appropriately or continue to disregard your feelings, it may be a sign to reassess the relationship and whether it meets your emotional needs.