Dealing with someone who frequently breaks plans for something "better" can be frustrating and hurtful. It's essential to address the situation calmly and assertively. Here are some steps you can take to handle this situation:
Communicate your feelings: Start by expressing how their actions make you feel without being accusatory. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding confrontational. For example, say, "I feel disappointed and undervalued when plans get canceled last minute" instead of "You always ditch me for something better."
Seek understanding: Ask them about their reasons for canceling plans. Maybe they are unaware of how their actions affect you or have valid reasons for doing so. Try to empathize with their perspective but also let them know how it impacts you.
Set boundaries: Be clear about what you expect from the relationship. Let them know that you value consistency and reliability in your interactions, and it's essential for building trust.
Evaluate the relationship: Consider the overall balance of the relationship. If this pattern of behavior is causing significant distress and it seems one-sided, it may be worth reevaluating the friendship or connection.
Give them a chance to change: If the person values your friendship, they may take your concerns seriously and make an effort to change their behavior. Monitor their actions over a reasonable period to see if there's any improvement.
Be understanding but assertive: While it's essential to be empathetic, don't allow yourself to be consistently taken for granted. Make it clear that you deserve respect and consideration in your interactions.
Consider the context: Occasionally, people may have legitimate reasons for canceling plans, such as emergencies or unexpected obligations. Be open to understanding these situations, but also look for patterns of behavior.
Limit your availability: If the person continues to break plans without valid reasons or disregards your feelings, consider reducing the frequency of your interactions or not making yourself readily available.
Surround yourself with supportive people: Focus on nurturing relationships with those who respect your time and value your company. Positive and reliable connections can help you cope with the disappointment caused by the unreliable individual.
Know when it's time to move on: If the person repeatedly disrespects your time and feelings despite your efforts to communicate and set boundaries, you may need to reevaluate the significance of the relationship in your life. Sometimes, it's best to distance yourself from toxic or inconsiderate individuals for your well-being.
Remember that each situation is unique, and there might be underlying factors affecting the person's behavior. Still, it's crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being and surround yourself with people who genuinely value and respect you.