When someone says, "You'll change your mind" or "You don't know what you're missing out on" regarding your decision about wanting kids or being child-free, it can be frustrating and dismissive of your feelings and choices. Here are some ways to respond assertively and respectfully:
Stay firm and confident: Politely but firmly reiterate your decision. You can say something like, "I appreciate your concern, but I've thought about it thoroughly, and I'm confident in my decision to be child-free/have kids."
Set boundaries: Let the person know that it's a personal decision, and you'd prefer not to discuss it further. For example, "I understand you have your opinions, but this is a topic I'd rather not debate. Let's talk about something else."
Share your reasons (optional): If you feel comfortable, you can briefly share your reasons for your decision. This might help the person understand your perspective better. However, remember that you are not obligated to justify your choice.
Empathize and redirect: Acknowledge the person's perspective while gently redirecting the conversation. For example, "I understand having children has brought you a lot of joy. Speaking of joy, have you tried that new restaurant in town?"
Educate (optional): If the person seems genuinely interested in understanding your perspective, you can share some insights or resources about being child-free or parenting. This can help dispel any misconceptions they may have.
Avoid arguments: If the conversation becomes heated or argumentative, it's best to disengage. You don't have to convince anyone of your decision, and getting into an argument rarely changes someone's mind.
Surround yourself with supportive people: If you consistently encounter judgmental or unsupportive attitudes, seek out friends and communities who respect your choices and values.
Remember that your decision about having children or not is entirely personal and valid. People have different life goals and priorities, and it's essential to make the choice that aligns with your values and desires. It's okay to stand by your decision and not let others' opinions sway you if you are confident in what you want.