It's understandable that you want to help and make your parents happy by taking initiative with household tasks. However, it can be frustrating when your efforts are met with comments that make you feel unappreciated or misunderstood. Here are some steps you can take to address this situation:
Communicate Your Intentions: Have an open and honest conversation with your mom about your actions. Let her know that you genuinely want to help and that you try to do things before being asked. Explain that you are trying your best to be proactive and responsible.
Ask for Specific Tasks: Sometimes, parents might assume that their children know what needs to be done around the house. However, they might have specific tasks in mind that they want help with. Ask your mom if there are particular chores or tasks she would like you to take care of without her having to remind you.
Express Your Feelings: Share how her comments make you feel. Explain that it hurts when she says you don't listen despite your efforts to be helpful. Communicating your emotions can help her understand your perspective better.
Seek Understanding: Try to understand your mom's point of view as well. She might be used to a certain routine or way of doing things, and your proactive approach might catch her off guard. Showing empathy can create a more constructive conversation.
Be Patient and Persistent: Changing dynamics and communication patterns takes time. Continue to be proactive and helpful, even if her comments haven't changed immediately. Consistency in your actions may eventually lead to a shift in her response.
Clarify Expectations: If you're unsure about what she wants you to do, ask for clarification. Having a clear understanding of her expectations can prevent misunderstandings.
Acknowledge Each Other's Efforts: Both you and your mom are trying to contribute to the household in your own ways. Acknowledge and appreciate each other's efforts, even if your approaches differ.
Find Compromise: Try to find a middle ground that works for both of you. Maybe there are specific tasks you can take care of without being prompted, and others you can handle when she asks.
Involve Your Dad: If you have a good relationship with your dad, consider talking to him about the situation. He might offer insight or help bridge the communication gap.
Remember Your Love for Each Other: Throughout any discussions or challenges, keep in mind that you and your mom love each other. Focus on finding solutions together, rather than letting frustration drive a wedge between you.
Remember that misunderstandings can happen in any relationship, and it's essential to address them with patience and empathy. Good communication and understanding each other's perspectives are key to resolving conflicts and strengthening your bond with your parents.