People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often struggle with intense and fluctuating emotions, which can be distressing and overwhelming. When they say that their emotions are real, they are expressing their subjective experience of those emotions, regardless of the underlying cause. It's important to understand their perspective and validate their feelings while also acknowledging that the emotional intensity is influenced by the illness.
Several factors contribute to why individuals with BPD may emphasize the reality of their emotions:
Subjective Experience: Emotions, regardless of their origin, are experienced subjectively by individuals. The emotions felt by someone with BPD are very real to them in the moment, even if their intensity is influenced by their mental health condition.
Stigma and Misunderstanding: People with BPD may face stigma and judgment regarding their emotional experiences. By asserting that their emotions are real, they may be advocating for understanding and empathy, seeking validation for their internal struggles.
Emotional Dysregulation: BPD is characterized by difficulties in regulating emotions, leading to intense and rapid mood shifts. During emotional dysregulation episodes, individuals may feel a loss of control over their emotions, and emphasizing their reality may be a way to communicate their distress.
Sense of Identity: Individuals with BPD may struggle with a fragmented sense of self, and intense emotions can be a way to connect with and validate their own existence, even amidst feelings of emptiness.
Coping Mechanism: For some, expressing the reality of their emotions can be a coping mechanism to seek support and understanding from others.
Lack of Emotional Validation: People with BPD may have experienced invalidation of their emotions in the past, leading them to emphasize the legitimacy of their feelings as a way to combat this history of dismissal.
It's essential for those interacting with individuals with BPD to approach their emotions with empathy and sensitivity. Validating their feelings does not mean condoning harmful behaviors resulting from emotional dysregulation. Instead, it means acknowledging the emotional distress they experience while encouraging healthy coping strategies and professional support.
Providing a non-judgmental and supportive environment can foster trust and help individuals with BPD work towards healthier emotional regulation and overall well-being. Professional therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be especially beneficial for individuals with BPD as it helps them learn skills to manage emotions and cope with the challenges associated with the disorder.