I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing difficulties in your relationship. Communication is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship, and it's essential for both partners to feel comfortable expressing their feelings and concerns.
When your girlfriend says, "don't play dumb" and refuses to tell you why she's mad, it could be indicative of some underlying issues in the relationship. Here are a few potential reasons for her behavior:
Frustration and Lack of Communication Skills: It's possible that your girlfriend is feeling frustrated or upset and is struggling to effectively communicate her emotions. Instead of openly expressing herself, she may resort to using phrases like "don't play dumb" as a defensive mechanism.
Fear of Confrontation: Some individuals find it difficult to confront conflict directly. They might avoid discussing their feelings to prevent uncomfortable conversations or fear of how their partner will react.
Past Negative Experiences: If your girlfriend has had negative experiences in the past where her emotions were dismissed or invalidated, she might be hesitant to open up about her feelings now.
Emotional Vulnerability: Opening up about emotions can make people feel vulnerable. Your girlfriend might be uncomfortable with being emotionally vulnerable, so she deflects by using defensive phrases.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Refusing to explain why she's mad and getting rude might be a form of passive-aggressive behavior, where she expresses anger indirectly.
In any case, it's crucial to address this issue in a healthy and constructive manner. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Calmly Talk About It: Find a suitable time to talk with your girlfriend when you're both calm and not engaged in an argument. Express your concern and let her know that you genuinely want to understand her feelings.
Active Listening: Be an active listener and try to understand her perspective without interrupting or becoming defensive. Give her space to express herself without judgment.
Express Your Feelings: Share your feelings about the situation as well, but do so in a non-blaming manner. Use "I" statements to communicate how her behavior makes you feel.
Seek Professional Help: If communication problems persist, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A neutral third party can assist both of you in improving communication and resolving conflicts.
Remember that relationships require effort and understanding from both partners. Open and honest communication is key to resolving issues and building a strong, healthy relationship.