The tendency for individuals raised by strict parents to spoil their own kids can be attributed to a variety of psychological and emotional factors. It's important to note that not everyone who was raised by strict parents will repeat the same parenting style, as individuals respond to their upbringing in different ways. However, there are some common reasons why this pattern might occur:
Rebellion and Overcompensation: Growing up under strict rules and limitations may lead some individuals to rebel against that upbringing once they become parents themselves. They may feel that their own parents were too strict and restrictive, and they don't want their children to experience the same restrictions. This can lead to overcompensation by indulging their children to make up for what they perceive as a lack of freedom in their own childhood.
Desire for a Different Experience: People who were raised in a strict environment may want to provide their children with a different, more relaxed and enjoyable childhood. They might believe that being more permissive and providing their children with many material possessions will lead to happier and well-adjusted kids.
Seeking Validation and Love: Some individuals may have felt unloved or unsupported by their strict parents during their childhood. Spoiling their own children could be an attempt to gain their children's love and approval by being the "fun" parent who provides them with everything they want.
Cultural and Societal Influences: Cultural norms and societal changes can also play a role in shaping parenting styles. In some cultures, there may have been a shift from traditional strict parenting to more permissive styles, influenced by modern ideas and media portrayals of "ideal" parenting.
Unawareness of Balance: Some parents who were raised by strict parents might not have been taught a balanced approach to parenting. They may struggle to find the middle ground between being too strict and too permissive, leading them to swing to the opposite extreme.
Compensating for Absent Parents: If one of the child's parents was particularly strict or absent during their upbringing, the other parent may feel compelled to overcompensate and fill the void by being overly indulgent.
It's important to remember that each individual's parenting style is shaped by a complex interplay of their own upbringing, personality, beliefs, and life experiences. While some people may spoil their children due to their experiences with strict parents, others may adopt a different approach and strive to strike a healthy balance between discipline and love. Effective parenting often involves finding a middle ground that provides structure and guidance while nurturing a loving and supportive environment.