When someone says "it's fine" but they don't mean it, it can be a challenging situation to navigate. Here are some steps you can take to handle it:
Show Empathy: Try to empathize with the person and understand that they might be feeling something different than what they are expressing. Be sensitive to their emotions and avoid dismissing their feelings.
Offer an Opportunity to Talk: Let the person know that you are there for them if they want to talk. You can say something like, "If you ever want to talk about it or if something is bothering you, I'm here to listen."
Ask Open-ended Questions: Instead of pushing them to reveal their true feelings, gently ask open-ended questions to encourage them to express themselves. For example, you could say, "Is there anything else on your mind?" or "Is there something specific you'd like to talk about?"
Create a Safe Environment: Ensure that the person feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions with you. Assure them that you won't judge them and that you value their honesty.
Observe Non-verbal Cues: Pay attention to their body language and tone of voice, as these can sometimes reveal more about their true feelings than their words.
Be Patient: If they don't open up immediately, be patient and give them time. Pressuring someone to share their feelings can make them feel more guarded.
Avoid Being Confrontational: Don't accuse them of lying or being insincere, as this may make them defensive and less likely to open up in the future.
Respect Their Privacy: If the person chooses not to share their feelings with you, respect their decision. Some people might prefer to deal with their emotions privately or confide in someone else.
Remember that everyone has their reasons for not being entirely open about their feelings. Your role is to be supportive, understanding, and caring, regardless of whether they choose to share their true emotions with you at that moment. If the situation seems to persist or affect your relationship, it might be helpful to address it calmly and gently when the time is right, expressing your concern and willingness to listen and understand.