In many religious traditions, thoughts and feelings are considered distinct from actions. Having unwanted or intrusive thoughts is a common human experience and doesn't necessarily reflect your true beliefs or character. What matters most is how you respond to these thoughts and whether you act on them.
If you find yourself having negative or intrusive thoughts about the Holy Spirit or any other spiritual matter, it can be distressing, but it doesn't mean you are automatically condemned or "not saved." Many people of faith experience doubts or struggles, and seeking guidance from a trusted religious leader, counselor, or therapist can be helpful.
Remember that genuine repentance and seeking forgiveness are important aspects of many religious beliefs. If you feel troubled by the thoughts you've experienced, you can pray or engage in rituals that are meaningful to you to seek forgiveness and healing. Talking about your struggles with someone you trust within your religious community can also be beneficial.
Additionally, taking care of your mental health is crucial. If you find these thoughts are causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can help you navigate through these challenges.
Ultimately, it's essential to remember that your relationship with your faith and spiritual beliefs is a personal journey, and seeking guidance and support from appropriate sources can help you find peace and understanding.