The idea that happiness cannot be found but must be created or cultivated is a common perspective in the field of positive psychology and personal development. While happiness can indeed come from various external sources and life circumstances, research suggests that a significant portion of one's happiness is within their control and can be influenced by individual attitudes, behaviors, and choices.
There are several reasons why it is often said that happiness is something you make for yourself:
Subjectivity of Happiness: Happiness is a subjective experience, and what makes one person happy may not necessarily bring the same level of joy to someone else. Thus, finding happiness might involve self-reflection and understanding one's own values and needs.
Adaptation: Humans have a tendency to adapt to changes in circumstances, both positive and negative, often returning to a baseline level of happiness. This phenomenon is known as the "hedonic adaptation." To sustain happiness, individuals may need to actively work on their mindset and outlook.
Focus on the Present: Happiness can be found in being present and mindful, appreciating the current moment rather than dwelling on the past or excessively worrying about the future.
Personal Agency: Recognizing that you have agency over your actions and choices empowers you to take steps to create positive experiences and cultivate happiness in your life.
Internal vs. External Factors: While external circumstances and events can impact our emotions, relying solely on external factors for happiness can be risky. Creating happiness internally means not being overly dependent on external situations or others for your well-being.
Gratitude and Perspective: Practicing gratitude and maintaining a positive perspective on life can contribute significantly to overall happiness.
Of course, this doesn't mean that external factors are irrelevant. Things like financial stability, social connections, and overall well-being can undoubtedly contribute to happiness. However, the idea that happiness is largely influenced by one's mindset and intentional actions is supported by scientific research.
It's essential to note that everyone's journey to happiness is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. For some, happiness might come more naturally, while others may need to work on developing certain skills and habits to find and create more joy in their lives.