Dealing with a partner who constantly makes excuses and reasons for everything that makes you unhappy can be challenging and emotionally draining. Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:
Communicate your feelings: Start by expressing your concerns and emotions openly and honestly with your partner. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel unhappy when certain things happen" rather than "You always make me unhappy." Share specific instances that have bothered you and how they made you feel.
Active listening: Encourage your partner to express their perspective as well. Actively listen to what they have to say and try to understand their viewpoint, even if you disagree. Effective communication requires both parties to feel heard and validated.
Identify patterns: Observe if there are recurring patterns of behavior where your partner tends to make excuses or dismiss your feelings. Recognizing patterns can help you understand the root of the issue.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about what is acceptable behavior in the relationship. Let your partner know that you won't tolerate being consistently dismissed or having your feelings invalidated.
Seek professional help: If the communication problems persist and the relationship is causing significant distress, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A neutral third party can facilitate healthier communication and provide tools to navigate challenges.
Assess the relationship: Take a step back and evaluate the overall health of the relationship. Determine if your needs and values are being respected, and if the relationship is mutually fulfilling and supportive.
Focus on self-care: Ensure you take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and spend time with friends and family who support you.
Evaluate your priorities: Consider if this relationship aligns with your long-term goals and happiness. Sometimes, difficult decisions need to be made if the relationship consistently causes unhappiness and distress.
Practice assertiveness: Be assertive in expressing your needs and feelings while respecting your partner's boundaries as well. Strive for open communication without resorting to blame or criticism.
Consider the future: Think about the potential for growth and positive change in the relationship. Are both you and your partner willing to work on communication and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness?
Remember that every relationship is unique, and the decision to stay or leave should be based on what you believe is best for your well-being and happiness. If you find that your partner is unwilling to acknowledge their behavior and work towards positive change, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship's viability.